Oh Happy Day
Mood:  mischievious
Hello World. I am back again with a new message for the new year~~~~~

I LOVE APRIL

Ok so thats nothing new but it is the most important thing in my world. If I ever lose her, life as we know it will end instantaneously. She is my life, my love, my world, nothing can compare to her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and i want nothing else than to keep her as happy as humanly possible

APRIL I LOVE YOU

Yet another day of pain
Mood:  don't ask
WEll yet again i got my girl april mad at me. I was talking to her in the daytime and she didnt say anything to me about it, i went and made plans for this thing supposed to be called "Happy" New Year. Later after i had a nap and got online she then told me that she was going to come down to see me, i had already made plans to go to parties of the guys from the ambulance, along with some family things. I couldnt break these engagements and by the time it was all said and done, i got my girl mad at me. Then she goes like she is going to pick up some guy(s) at a bar somewhere. This makes me feel like worthless crap and i really cannot deal with it. It hurts me deep inside to know that my girl is even THINKING like that. I have not so much as THOUGHT about another person other than April since 11/26, the day we started our journey through life together, havent thought about girls, wanted girls, or wanted anything else other than to make my April as happy as i possibly can, however it seems i cannot do this what so ever. Everything i do, i do wrong. I just want to make her happy. She is my everything, my heart, my soul, my Soul Mate. I want her to be happy with me, and it hurts me like hot razors through my heart everytime she gets mad at me and I dont know how long it will take till i can get her to realize just how much ui love her.

April, I Love you with all my heart babygirl

Christmas.....
Mood:  down
Well today is Christmas.. The Turkey wasn't Ready, i couldnt eat dinner with my family because i had to work(Damn Bitch god forbid we close 1 DAY)

I got home and got to "enjoy" Microwave reheated Christmas Dinner. It didnt have the same Feel or mood as if i was there with everyone else in my family sitting around enjoying it hot together.

I called the love of my life, April :-* I cannot get her out of my head. Even though i am tormenting the HELL out of her because i wont tell her what she is getting for Christmas. All she knows is that it has not been made yet. And it hasnt. I hate ruined surprises for Christmas gifts. I miss her more than I could EVER express in words. She is everything to me. I dream about her, think about her, and just want to be in her arms 24-7. That would be heaven. Sometimes she thinks that im not as into being with her as i say i am. When she sleeps over, I end up with my back to her as i fall asleep. It is not done on purpose, I am just such a restless sleeper that i have to find a comfortable place to fall asleep, and for some reason it always ends up facing away from her. I mean nothing by it and she just ends up feeling shut out and blocked out, and i dont want her to feel that way. I love her and want her in my life more than anything else. I wish there was a way for me to espress this to her but i cant. She has been hurt so many times that she is very apprehensive about everything i say or do. I want her to relax but i know she cant which makes it hard.

April, I Love You and i want you forever.